Mom, Mommy, Mama – What’s In A Name? – Part 1

Why do we need labels? There are a number of varying definitions of “mother” depending on what dictionary you look in or who you talk with, but most would include something to the effect of – to care for or nurture someone, a female parent, someone showing love, kindness, protectiveness, etc.

I was recently told that I was not a mom because I “did not give birth”. I don’t recall seeing “giving birth” as part of the official definition of being a mom. Giving birth qualifies you as a birth mom, but it is what you do after that earns you the title “mom”. And yes, it is an earned title and an honor to receive. It should not be taken lightly because the actions and decisions you make affect the most precious gift!

I am an “adoptive” mom of precious 9-year-old boy/girl twins and “step”mom of a precious 5 year girl. I never introduce my 3 kids as my adoptive or step children. Yes, we are labeled a “blended family” but we just consider ourselves a family. I proudly introduce myself as the mother of 3 amazing children who I am blessed to have in my life and I am so proud to have all three call me Mom. Now some consider this wrong, but I ask, my twins do not share my blood as they were adopted just as my “step” daughter does share my blood, why is it any different? I love, nurture, protect, and guide all three why should one be different? Well my answer is an emphatic – they shouldn’t because I am proud that all three have given me the precious gift of being MOM which I take very seriously because they deserve it! And instead of what we want, shouldn’t we be asking what is best for them!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. stepmamadrama
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 18:00:18

    Beautifully said.

    This has been quite a dilemma for my little man as he has started vocalizing as of late…

    He has referred to me as ‘ma’ and ‘mama’ a few times, and I exploded with excitement because I felt that he was doing this because he considered me as that….

    Sadly, my better side overcame me and repeated my first name back to him a few times whenever he called me that from that time on…

    Your entry made me feel a lot better about it, I’d like to consider giving him the option later in his years.

    Thank you.

    Reply

    • lisaaudino
      Sep 15, 2010 @ 00:57:27

      Thank you! Yes, it really is a controversial subject but it is sad that it has to be. I know that I had the same internal struggle initially, but now I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Another solution is to come up with an alternative name that is special between you both.

      I read your posts and I know first hand how very frustrating it can be. Good luck with your little guy!

      Reply

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